SAM MENDES:  Thank you.  Thank you so much.  This is a huge, huge thing.  This is a huge thing for this movie.  It opens in a week wide.  It's difficult to make movies without big movie stars in the leads and get people to come and see it in a cinema.  And I really hope this means that people will turn up and see it on a big screen, for which it was intended.  I want to say thank you to Krysty Wilson Cairns, my co-writer, Tom Newman for his incredible score, three extraordinary producers, and to the HFPA for this and for what you've given to this movie.  Thank you so very, very much.  


RENÉE ZELLWEGER:  Thank you.  Wow, I really am up here.  Well, hi, everybody.  It's nice to see you.  You all look pretty good 17 years later.  

Thank you to the HFPA for inviting me back to the family reunion, especially with all these extraordinary ladies this year.  I mean it.  Your work moves me.  It moves me.  And I've been cheering you all from theater seats for a long time.  Being on a list with you is cool.  

Who thanks their agents first?  Me. Kevin Huvane, Brian Lourd, Peter Levine, Nicole Perna, Don Lapel, Macie, John  Carrabino, my partners in crime.  I just have to thank you for always reminding me that the top doesn't matter.  It's the journey that matters.  


And the work that matters.  Thank you for always saying just do the work, Renee.  Just do the work.  Thank you.  And this film, my goodness, cool brilliant director, thank you. Thank you to David Livingstone for that first call, Cameron.  A lot of people I'm going to try to squeeze in.  ABC Films for making it.  Josh, Jeremy for all the prosthetics.  You're just incredible.  Matt Deekly Maestro, Eric Vetro, Gary Catana, Jeff Foster, Paul, you guys kicking me in the pants, make me try a little bit harder.  Jesse Buckley, Finn Wittrock. Finn Wittrock and Rufus, I have to tell you, celebrating one of the great icons of our time with you has been one of my great life blessings, and the conversations that I have had with people internationally who just want to express their love for Judy Garland and tell about the great personal significance of her legacy and her humanity has been a great reminder that the choices that we make matter.  What we make matters, and how we choose to honor each other in our lifetimes can matter a great deal down the road.  Thank you so much, everybody.  It's nice to see you.  I'm honored.  Thank you. 


JOAQUIN PHOENIX:  Hi.  First I'd like to thank the Hollywood Foreign Press for recognizing and acknowledging the link between animal, agriculture, and climate change.  

It is a very bold move making tonight plant based, and it really sends a powerful message.

To my fellow nominees, we all know there's no (expletive) competition between us.  It's like this thing that is created to sell advertisements for the TV show.  I'm inspired by you.  I'm your (expletive) student.  I just I can't believe the beautiful, mesmerizing, unique work that you've all done this year.  And I know people say this, but I really do feel honored to be mentioned with you.  Some of you, I've reached out to personally.  Some, I'm still a little too intimidated by, even though we share the same agent.  Hi, Christian. You're not here, but    

And, Todd, you were such an amazing friend and collaborator, and you convinced me to do this movie and you encouraged me to give everything and to be sincere.  And I'm such a pain in the ass.  I cannot believe you put up with me.  I'm so indebted to you.


Contrary to popular belief, I don't want to rock the boat, but the boat is (expletive) rocked.


And there are it's really nice that so many people have come up and send sent their well wishes to Australia.  But we have to do more than that, right?  And such a beautiful gesture.  

And I have not always been a virtuous man.  I'm learning so much.  And so many of you in this room have given me multiple opportunities to try to get it right, and I'm deeply grateful.  But I think together, hopefully, we can be unified and actually make some changes.  It's great to vote, but sometimes we have to take that responsibility on ourselves and make changes and sacrifices in our own lives and hope that we can do that.  We don't have to take private jets to Palm Springs for the awards sometimes, or back, please.  And I'll try to do better, and I hope you will too.  Thank you so much for putting up with me.  I'm so grateful for this night and all of you.  Thank you.  


DAVID HEYMAN:  Sir Quentin is nothing if unpredictable.  A few seconds ago he told me I was going to speak.  So a million thanks to everybody who worked on the film in front of and behind the camera.  A big thanks to our patron, Tom Rothman.


A big thanks to maestro Mr. Quentin Tarantino.


Quentin said when we    before I started filming, he said, "We need to have such a good time on this film that the next film is going to be miserable."  He wasn't wrong.  Thank you, Quentin.  


AWKWAFINA:  This is great.  


If anything, if I fall upon hard times, we can sell this, so this is good.  


First of all, thank you so much to the Hollywood Foreign Press.  I've never been to the Golden Globes, and I'm here now, and this is great.  


I'd like to thank everyone at A24.  Yes.  Peter Saraf, Danny Molia, Big Beesh and Andrew Miano.  I'd like to thank the woman who plays my grandma on "The Farewell," Zhao Shuzhen, Zhao, thank you.  And most importantly, to LuLu Wang, our incredible director. You gave me this chance, the chance of a lifetime, and you taught me so much, and just filming the story, being with you is incredible.  

I'd like to dedicate this to my dad, Wally.  I told you I'd get a job, Dad.  


And to my grandma, my best friend, the woman who raised me, and to my mother, Tia, who I always hoped was watching from somewhere above, and I hope she's watching now.  Thank you all.  Thank you. 


TARON EGERTON:  I really wish I'd written something.  

Okay.  I'm so honored to be nominated alongside a bunch of legitimate icons and also Roman, who is sweetest kid and it was an incredible performance in "Jojo."  I'm honored to be nominated alongside you too.  Go on, Roman! 

This role has changed my life.  It's been the best experience of my life.  I am so proud of the film.  Everyone standing up for Elton and Bernie earlier.  We've loved every second.  

I've got a few thank yous.  First of all, to my friend Dexter Fletcher for making a movie that I will be proud of for the rest of my life.  I love you like a brother.  To Matthew Vaughn for consistently giving me opportunity after opportunity and always championing me in my career.  To Adam Bohling for being the glue that held this production together.  To my *current team:  Nick Sullivan, Michael Cooper, Lindsey Maguire, Robby Baum, Jason Sloan (names phonetic).  Thank you so, so much.  Lindsey King (phonetic) is also here.  Thank you.  Okay.  Richard and Jane Bell (phonetic), the best wingman you could ever hope for.  And also David Furnish (phonetic) for allowing me to believe I was the man to play your husband.  Bernie Taupin for being as lovely a man as you are a legend.  To Giles Martin for making me believe I could sing all this.  To Gingi Opolis, Wid Godfrey (phonetic), everyone at Paramount.  I love you all.  Especially the Martin (phonetic) team.  
And finally, to Elton John.  Thank you for the music.  Thank you for living a life less ordinary.  And thank you for being my friend.  

Finally  oh, yeah.  They are flashing at me.  My mother is in here somewhere.  This one's for you, mum.  


BRAD PITT:  Holy moly.  Thank you.  Thank you so much.  Thank you to the eclectic and ever raucous Hollywood Foreign Press Association.  


You know, when I was starting out, these names that were just listed: Pacino, Pesci, Hanks, and my de facto mentor from afar, Sir Tony Hopkins; wherever you are, Tony, you know I love you were like gods to me.  This is an honor in itself.  And all my respect.  All my respect, sincerely.  

I have to start by thanking the man himself, Mr. Quentin Tarantino   


the man, the myth, the legend, for this experience, for the film, one I'll never forget.  I thank you, my brother.  I really appreciate it.  I also have to thank my partner in crime, LDC.


You know, when before "The Remnant," I used to watch, year after year, his co-stars accept awards and get up and thank him profusely.  I know why.  He's an all star.  He's a gent.  And I wouldn't be here without you, man.  I thank you.


Still, I would have shared the raft.


Oh, man.  There's so many names, so many people I want to thank from this film who all gave their very best.  I'm going to say thank you    I'm going squeeze it down to our producers, Shannon McIntosh, David Heyman.  I want to thank Tom Rothman for his big balls, taking on this film, the Sony machine.  I have some people I love who have been my friends for decades: Cynthia Pett, Jeannie Black, Brian Lould, John Leedman, who is not here.  And I want to say hi to my folks because, hey    


They're back in the Ozarks.  I wanted to bring my mom, but I couldn't because any woman I stand next to, they say I'm dating them.


Just be awkward.


All right.  Thank you.  Hey, if you see a chance to be kind to someone, take it.  I think we need it.  


HILDUR GUÔNADÓTTIR:  Wow.  I thought they forgot the music.  This is truly    I'm speechless.  This is unbelievable.  Thank you Hollywood Foreign Press.  Thank you, Todd, for inviting me on a journey of a lifetime, for all the trust and faith and your openness.  Thank you, Joaquin, for making my job really easy with a spectacular unbelievable performance.  It's mind blowing.  Thank you, Jason Ruther, for your fantastic job.  Truly incredible.  And conductor Jeff, my brothers.  My agent Patty, of course.  My incredible family and my mother.  My husband Sam, my beautiful son Codic.  That's everything.  



JARED HARRIS:  Hi, I'm Jane Featherstone.  Thank you to the HFPA.  Thank you to the HBO.  See, Ricky, it's not all Netflix.  Sorry, Netflix.  

Thank you to Sky Atlantic.  Thank you to Sister Pictures, Mighty Mint.  Thank you to the cities of Vilnius and Kiev for being so hospitable.  Thank you to our Ukrainian crews, our Lithuanian crews, our Swedish crews, our French crews, our English crews.  

Craig, your script posed the question what is the cost of lies?  And that question becomes more relevant with each passing day's news cycle.  The people of the Ukraine and the Belarus bore the brunt of this catastrophe, and they shielded millions of people from its worst effects at the cost of their own lives.  "Chernobyl" is dedicated to their courage and sacrifice.  


MICHELLE WILLIAMS:  Oh, thank you so much, first of all, to my "Fosse/Verdon" family and to the Hollywood Foreign Press Association.  When you put this in someone's hands, you're acknowledging the choices that they make as an actor moment by moment, scene by scene, day by day.  But you're also acknowledging the choices they make as a person, the education they pursued, the training they sought, the hours they put in.  I'm grateful for the acknowledgment of the choices I'm made, and I'm also grateful to have lived at a moment in our society where choice exists, because, as women and as girls, things can happen to our bodies that are not our choice.  I've tried my very best to live a life of my own making, not just a series of events that happened to me, but one that I can stand back and look at and recognize my handwriting all over, sometimes messy and scrawling, sometimes careful and precise, but one that I had carved with my own hand.  And I wouldn't have been able to do this without employing a woman's right to choose.


To choose when to have my children and with whom, when I felt supported and able to balance our lives, knowing, as all mothers know, that the scales must and will tip towards our children.  Now, I know my choices might look different than yours, but thank God, or whomever you pray to, that we live in a country founded on the principle that I am free to live by my faith and you are free to live by yours.  So, women, 18 to 118, when it is time to vote, please do so in your own self interest.  It's what men have been doing for years.


It's what men have been doing for years, which is why the world looks so much like them.  But don't forget we are the largest voting body in this country.  Let's make it look more like us.  Tommy and Matilda, I can't wait to come home to you.  

SAM MENDES, "1917"

SAM MENDES:  Goodness me.  That is a big surprise.  Thank you very much.  Can I just say this.  Not one director in this room, not one director in the world that is not in the shadow of Martin Scorsese.  I just have to say that.  

Too many people to thank.  Everyone i know at Universal, Amblin, everyone at New Republic, three extraordinary producers, Pippa, Jayne Ann, Callam; two extraordianry actors, George and Dean.  We built this movie around you.  Thank you.  An incredible cast and crew.  Dennis Gassner, production designer.  Lee Smith, and, of course, the great Roger Deakins, without whom we couldn't possibly have made this.  


I also want to take a leaf out of Tom Hanks' book.  I want to say thank you to my wife, Ali, for her love and support, without who I would never have even have sat down to write this.  

And finally, I'd like to dedicate this to my grandfather, Alfred Hubert Mendes, who inspired this film.  He signed up for the first World War.  He was age 17, and I hope he's looking down on us, and I fervently hope it never ever happens again.  Thank you very much. 


TOM HANKS:  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you very much.


Thank you.  Thanks, everybody.  Thank you.

Most of the people in this room, I would pay to see them get their cars washed.  So to be up here...   

And can I just say honestly, really, really can I just tell the truth now.  Can I just see a show of hands?  How many people in this room have a clip package that includes "The Love Boat"?  Anybody?  Well, you Charlize?  No?  Well, you missed out.  

There you go.  Kathy.  There you go.  And what do we have?  Love, exciting and new.  Climb aboard.  

I have a cold the size of Merv Griffin's "Jeopardy" royalties, so forgive me.  I've been drinking an awful lot of savagely orange drinks for the last 24 hours and I'm a little jittery.  

A man is...sorry.  

I man is blessed a man is blessed with a family sitting down front like that.  A wife who is fantastic in every way, who has taught me what love is.  Five kids who are braver and stronger and wiser than their old man is.  And a loving group of people who have put up with me being away months and months and months at a time.  Of course, otherwise I wouldn't standing here if they didn't have to put up with that.  So I can't tell you how much your love means to me.


So that's the wife and kids.  

You know, you're a dope if you don't steal from everybody you've ever worked with.  And I have stolen from the likes of the people that only need one name, you know, like Meryl, like Denzel, like Antonio, like Meg, like Julia, like Sally Field.  Even though that's two names, it's still one.  But I have also been made better by watching the examples of some of the greatest actors that have ever walked the stage, Peter Scolari and Holland Taylor a million years ago, Robin Wright.  Barkhad Abdi, believe it or not who was in his very first film, who was so very much in artist.  There was no doubt about it.  And Charlize, who actually is one of those one word names.  

The reason I had to leave the room    the reason I had to leave the room for five minutes was to go in and tell the other producers that this woman that I'm auditioning right now is going to be in this movie somehow, so we've got to figure it out somehow.  So we've got to figure out how it's going to work.  And she was.

I have never not been challenged or flummoxed or lost sleep because of the work that was asked of me by the directors that I've worked with, every single one of them, the screenwriters I've worked with, every single one of them.  And there's been Nora and Penny, Marie of late.  There's Steven* and Ron, Paul, Bob.  The list goes on.  And Clint.  The list goes on and on.  And every one of those every one of those guys at some point or another came up to me in the course of a day and said, "Tomorrow, if you don't do your job really well, we don't have a movie."  

And this is a thing that happens with actors at some point.  On a movie, a movie is made shot by shot.  Everybody knows that. Line Wetmuller knows it.  Marty Scorsese knows it.  Jackie Chan knows a movie is made shot by shot.  And at that moment, what is required is everybody has to do their job to their perfection.  And they have to hit a Mark and they have to go there.  

Sometimes the movie rests on the shoulders of the makeup artist who put on Stellan Skarsgård's eyebrows.  Sometimes it's the focus puller that if it isn't sharp, you don't have it and it shows up and you have to do it all over again.  But it's those moments as an actor where everybody I have ever worked with has helped me get to that place.  Sometimes it's 3:00 o'clock in the morning, and sometimes it's 11:00...11:00 at night in which you just have to somehow put it all together, have faith in what the process is, and go there.  

A thousand years ago in 1977 when I was an intern at the Great Lakes Shakespeare Festival, my first professional job, we all got yelled at by Dan Sullivan, the director.  We had partied a little bit too much the night before.  We were showing up for rehearsals, and he screamed at us.  Well, he did actually scream at us.  He said, "Hey, look.  You guys, you guys, you actors, you know what your job is?  You know what your job is?  You have got to show up on time and you have to know the text and you have to have a head full of ideas.  Otherwise I can't do my job."  

That was the greatest lesson a young actor could possibly ever get.  First of all, the head full of ideas, bring anything, try anything.  They might not use it.  If it stinks, they won't use it.  Am I right, Marty Scorsese?  If it's not good, boy, let's see the outtakes from that movie, by the way.


Knowing the text and it's not just your lines.  It's the whole thing.  It's the red dot.  It's the theme of the movie.  You've got to know it.  You might not be right in the opinion that you bring to it, but you've got to come at it with some direction.  

And as Charlize might know, and some of the other people who've worked with us at the Play Tone galaxy of stars, showing up on time is one of the greatest, liberating acts you can give yourself in a movie.


That means those people with radios in their ears don't need to knock on your door and say they're ready for you.  You're actually already ready and you have the liberty and you have the freedom of being there early enough to settle down, because when the time comes, you have to hit the marks and you have to go there.  

There is a saying in motion pictures back when it was shot on film, that you could not move on to the next scene until the gate was good.  The film went through the little    

Let me explain to the kids at home.  The film went through a shutter.  It had to go through the gate and sometimes a piece of film would fall off.  A hair or speck of dust would be there on the negative, and the shot would be ruined because you couldn't save it in the lab.  The gate had to be good before you could move on.  

Cecil B. DeMille himself, up in that voice of god chair, "All right.  That's wonderful.  Cut.  Check the gate."  He'd say something like that, and then they would check the gate.  And if the gate was good, then you moved on.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm such it's the cold that is making this happen.  I swear to God.  I'm not nearly this emotional at home.  

Well, thank you, HFPA.  Thank you all here.  Thank you all for all your inspiration and all of your work and all of the struggle that you guys all go through in order to hit the marks and tell the truth.  

I have checked the gate.  The gate is good.  Thank you. 


OLIVIA COLMAN:  Hello.  Thank you so much.  Oh, I said I had money on this not happening.  For the last year, I feel like I've been living someone else's life, and now I feel like I've definitely won someone else's award.  Thank you so much, HFPA and Netflix and Left Bank and I've had the loveliest time doing this.  And to all my fellow nominees, who are all just marvelous.  I don't know what to say because I genuinely I've already got a little bit boozy because I thought this wasn't going to happen.


So thank you.  Completely stumped.


And "Fleabag," yay.


Everyone here.  And, obviously, sitting there, watching everybody is so exciting.  We've gone, "Look who it is.  Look who's there."  So thank you for having us.  Thank you for having me.  I've had such a lovely time.  Thank you very much.  


PATRICIA ARQUETTE:  Thank you very much.  What a wonderful surprise.  Thank you to my fellow nominees, to Hollywood Foreign Press, and to UCP and to Hulu, to Joey King, my phenomenal co star.  I love you so much.  You're a gift, incredible talent.  To my kids, to my agent and manager, and I'm so grateful to be here and celebrate this.  

But also I know tonight, Jan 5, 2020, we're not going to look back on this night in the history books.  We will see a country on the brink of war, the United States of America, a president tweeting out a threat of 52 bombs, including cultural sites, young people risking their lives traveling across the world, people not knowing if bombs are going to drop on their kids' heads, and the continent of Australia on fire.

So while I love my kids so much, I beg of us all to give them a better world.  For our kids and their kids, we have to vote in 2020, and we have to get    beg and plead for everyone we know to vote in 2020.  Thank you. 



BERNIE TAUPIN:  Okay.  I'm going to say something.  

All right.  Thank you Hollywood Foreign Press.  You know, this is really sweet, because this is not just about a song we wrote for a movie.  This is a song we wrote for a movie which deals with our relationship, and it's a relationship that doesn't happen very much in this town.  It's a 52 year old marriage.  So thank you.


ELTON JOHN:  Thank you to all my fellow nominees who are all great songwriters.  It's very humbling.  

Thank you to the Hollywood Foreign Press.  To everybody who worked on "Rocketman." To Giles Martin who made the record with Greg Kurstin.  To Taron, who helped me sing it. To everyone involved.  To David.  To Matthew.  To Dexter, our director.  To Paramount, everyone involved in this film.  It was one of the most emotional moments of my life.  And to win this    it's the first time I've ever won an award with him, ever.


We never won a Grammy.  We never did anything together except for this, and I'm so happy.  Thank you very much.  


PHOEBE WALLER BRIDGE:  Thank you.  Oh, man.  Thank you.  Thank you so much for I mean, to the HFPA again, thank you.  This is literally the gang that made it.  And just want to say a huge, huge thank you to everyone for supporting us so much.  And we have such an incredible cast, and everyone poured so much into this show, so much heart and so much love.  And we all it's a bit rare [gray?], so we all became best friends, which is ironic because the show is about such a lonely lady.  So this means a huge amount to all of us.  Thank you, thank you, thank you to Amazon and to the BBC for picking us up and bringing us so far and giving us so much space to create something we really, really wanted to create and to say all the things that no one else would let us say and a do.  So thank you for that.  Personally I'd also like to thank Obama for putting us on his list.


And as some of you may know, he's always been on mine.


And if you don't get that joke, please watch Season 1 of "Fleabag" really, really quickly. Thank you so much.  This means the world to us.  Thank you.  Goodnight.  


LAURA DERN:  Thank you Hollywood Foreign Press.  My first time here I was 14 years old.  It's a great honor to be with you again tonight and to share this evening with extraordinary fellow actors who I so admire.  Thank you for your incredible work.  

We long to be of service to give voice to the voiceless, and thanks to the brilliant Noah Baumbach I got to do just that, give voice, pay tribute to the divorce lawyer.  


Long, long, overdue.  So thank you, Noah, for your seamless perfection, your guidance, your mentorship forever.  

Thank you to the most amazing cast, the dream cast of Adam and Scarlet and Allen and Ray and Julie and Merritt and Ezhy and everyone that worked on this film, our crew, to the incredible Netflix, our fearless leaders, to Scott, to the ever kindhearted nobleman, the British, Ted, to our amazing tribe.  

And I said just want to say I fell so blessed to be part of a film that, yes, tells the story of family finding their way for their child, through the end of a marriage, but the global look that Noah takes at what divisiveness is and how we must all come together as one for the sake of something greater, perhaps our planet even.  

So thank you very much, Noah, for the most incredible ride ever.  All my love.  Thank you all.


CHRIS BUTLER:  Well, I am flabbergasted.  So thank you to the HFPA.  

It takes a lot of people to make one of these movies.  There are 450 talented artists, crafts people, technicians, engineers who made this movie possible. 


CHRIS BUTLER:  Human beings.  

Thank you to Arianne Sutner, my producer.  


CHRIS BUTLER:  Thank you to Trevis Knight for making this possible.  

Just thank you, all of you.  I am genuinely shocked.

ARIANNE SUTNER:  We love you so much.

CHRIS BUTLER:  Thank you.  


QUENTIN TARANTINO:  Wow.  I can't believe I won over Steve Zaillian.  I gotta tell you that.  I mean, I think it was only Margot giving me the award, that was the mojo that pushed it over the edge.  Congratulations, dudes.  This is really lovely.  I want to dedicate this award to the dean of screenwriters, Robert Bolt.


And my favorite screenwriter growing up that made me want to be a screenwriter was John Milius, and John Milius's hero was Robert Bolt.  So I am pushing it back to Milius back to Bolt, right here, right now.  Normally the thing is when I win a writing award, and you don't share the script with somebody else, you write it by yourself, you kind of don't really have anybody to thank.  I did it.


But this time, more than usually most, I had a fantastic cast.  And it's not just a BS fantastic cast.  It was a fantastic cast that took it from the page and had to add a slightly different layer than what was just on the page, whether it was Leo in the trailer, whether it's Brad having his acid flashback acid trip or Margot's just truly goodness, just the goodness that comes out of her that put more goodness in a movie than I've ever been involved in.  And that goes down to everybody, all the way down to little Julia Butters, God bless her little heart.  So I want to thank you so much.  And my wife who is watching from Tel Aviv, who is pregnant with my very first child.


(In a foreign language).  I love you.  


BRIAN COX:  Hi.  I'm sorry.  I mean, this kind of event does your head in.  No, it really does.  It does your head in.  

And first of all, I want to apologize to my fellow nominees for winning this.  I mean, I'm sorry.  That's all can say.  I'm sorry.  But I never expected this.  And I've been in this business    next year I would have been in this business for 60 years.  


And, I mean, I started when I was 2, and I just never thought this would ever happen to me, so I'm a wee bit shocked, and I just want to say that it wouldn't have happened if I hadn't worked with the most extraordinary bunch of people ever, the cast and the crew of "Succession," and our genius Jesse Armstrong.  You saw him just now.  An incredibly modest man.  What a talent.  What a gift, and he's inspired us to do the best work, and there's nothing like it.  There's nothing like it when you've got a showrunner who comes along and empowers you to do your best work.  So thank you, Jesse, because if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have had this.  So thank you.  

Also, I want to thank my family for forbearance and my lovely wife, who is here tonight, for putting up with me for all this crappy time.  Thank you. 


ELLEN DeGENERES:  Wow.  Thank you so much.  Thank you.  Thank you so much. Woo.  Thank you so much.  

You never know where life takes you, huh?  Before I say anything, Australia, I love you.  My heart goes out to everyone who is suffering in Australia, all the animals that we've lost.

Kate, you're incredible and thank you so much.  I know how hard    I hate being asked to do things like this, so thank you for doing this.  Thank you for flying here.  Thank you for writing something.  Thank you for the amazing    the words that you said.  Thank you so much.  I love you.  I love you.

Thank you so much to the Hollywood Foreign Press.  I feel humbled and honored to receive this.  The first person after Carol Burnett is quite an honor, so thank you so much.  
It's a prestigious award.  And what I like most about it is I knew coming in, I would win. Uh.  I mean, there's nothing worse than sitting there, like most of you, waiting and wondering if you're going to win and politely acting like, "Oh, I'm going to listen to everybody's speeches," like it's nice and it's not.  Because people just go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on.  And you're like, uh I'm not going to do that. I'm going to be quick.  

Although, I don't have to, because it's a special award and they don't play me off.  


I mean, I don't have to end at all, because it's a special award.


But they said they were going to give me a sign at 25 minutes, but that's for my reference, just to see where I was.  

But I could go on.  I'm not.  I'm going to keep it quick.

I was born in New Orleans in 1958, January 26.  Dr. Swanson delivered me at 8:43 in the morning.  A rainy, rainy and not I mean Louisiana heavy rain.  

My parents drove me home in a Buick.  I think it was a Buick.  It could have been a Ford or a Chrysler.  It was a Buick.  I think it was a Buick.  The point is they brought me home in a car.  

And before I knew it, I had a successful sitcom and I came out and then I lost that sitcom.  And then I got another sitcom and I lost that sitcom too.  And then I got to do something that I'd never been able to do before and that is make my own whiskey.  And after that, I got a talk show and I was able to be myself.  And that was 17 years ago, and I feel like you've all really gotten to know me over the past 17 years.  I am an open book.  

And I couldn't have done it without my husband Mark.  Mark    


you are my rock.  Thank you for supporting me through this crazy journey.  I know it wasn't easy for you or the kids.  

Rupert and Fiona, go to bed.  I love you.  

That's funny, because they're in college now.

But the point is you all know me.  And obviously you know me or else you wouldn't have laughed at all that.  

I feel like we all think we know someone.  There's a connection when we watch someone on TV for as long as we are on TV.  And that's what it was like for me with Carol Burnett.  I felt like I knew her.  I felt like she showed us who she was every week.  She was larger than life.  She was    


We counted on her to make us feel good, and she delivered every single week.  She never let us down.  She was hilarious in all the sketches that she did.  And when she did the Q&A with the audience, she was just genuine and personal.  And I always felt like she was speaking to me, when at the end of the show, every time she pulled her ear, I knew she was saying, "It's okay.  I'm gay too."


Thank you.  

Television, it inspired every and influenced everything that I am today.  Lucille Ball, Mary Tyler Moore.  Marlo Thomas, Dick Van Dyke, Bob Newhart, “Mannix”.  There's a little bit of all of them in me.  That doesn't sound right, but you know what I'm saying.  

All I've ever wanted to do is make people feel good and laugh, and there's no greater feeling than when someone tells me that I've made their day better with my show or that I've helped them get through a sickness or a hard time in their lives.  But the real power of television for me is not that people who watch my show, but people watch my show and then they're inspired to go out and do the same thing in their own lives.  They make people laugh or be kind or help someone that's less fortunate than themselves.  And that is the power of television, and I'm so, so grateful to be a part of it.  

Thank you so much everybody.  


BONG JOON HO:  Wow.  Amazing.  Unbelievable.  I'm foreign language filmmaker, so I have a translator here.  Please understand.

(Through the translator.) 

Once you overcome the 1 inch tall barrier of subtitles, you will be introduced to so many more amazing films.


Just being nominated along with fellow amazing international filmmakers was a huge honor.  

(In English.)

I think we use only just one language, the cinema.  Thank you.  


PHOEBE WALLER-BRIDGE:  Oh, my gosh.  Thank you so much to the HFPA for this. This is really heavy and cool.  This really comes down to Andrew Scott, really, because that man   


There was a lot of talk about the chemistry of us in the show, but really he can have chemistry with a pebble, so I love being Andrew's pebble in this.  And thank you so much for bringing so much fire to this season.  

Thank you so much to Harry Bradbeer, our amazing director, and I was like, "That's not how it's meant to be done," and he's like, "Do it my way," and he's right.  It really annoys me because it might have been right.  This has been so extraordinary.  I'd like to take this opportunity to make a very special thank you to director of photography, Tony Miller, who made the show look like a movie with a budget of well, thank you, Amazon and BBC very small budget, and he is always a person he is a camera operator as well, so he was always the person I actually always looked down the camera to.  I would love to find a camera too.  Thank you, Tony.  

And thank you very much to my agents and to Amazon and BBC, sincerely, for picking up this little scrap of a show and bringing it all the way here.  This means the world to me. Thank you very much. 


JESSE ARMSTRONG:  Thank you very much.  Thank you to the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. Thanks to HBO for their tremendous support to Richard Plepler, to Casey Bloys, Francesca Orsi, Nora Skinner, who have given us such good support.  

And for everyone else who works on the show, you know, it's a team show, and I am here as the representative to accept it on behalf of all of us.  So if you've ever appeared on the call sheet or in the titles of "Succession," congratulations.  We've won a Golden Globe.  


STELLAN SKARSGÅRD:  I was so sure that I shouldn't win, so I already thanked everybody.  I thanked the brilliant director Johan Renck and Craig Mazin for his great script and all the producers from Sister Pictures, HBO and everybody.  I should, though, thank one person, and that is Milos Forman who said to me a couple of years ago, "Stellan, I've seen so many films with you, but I never remember your face."


And I realize it was because I don't have any eyebrows.  Nobody can tell if I'm angry or surprised.  It's not like Colin Farrell.  You can tell if he's angry 20 miles away.  So    but for this film, Daniel Parker made a couple of eyebrows for me, and (raises statue in the air.) 


JENNIFER ANISTON: (Reading speech of Russell Crowe) Make no mistake, the tragedy unfolding in Australia is climate change based.  We need to act based on science, move our global workforce to renewable energy, and respect our planet for the unique and amazing place it is.  That way we have all a future.  Thank you. 


RAMY YOUSSEF:  Thank you so much.  Wow.  Yes.  So I would like to thank my God, *Allahu Akbar.  Thank you, God.  This is thanks to God and Hulu.  And Hulu, you guys, look, I know you guys haven't seen my show.  


Everyone's like, "Is this an editor?" 


We made a very specific show about an Arab Muslim family living in New Jersey.  And this means a lot to be recognized on this level, so I do want to thank everyone who's involved:  My co creators, producers, my family, my mom and dad.  This means    

My mom also was rooting for Michael Douglas, so Egyptians love Michael Douglas.  I don't know if you know this.  

But this means a lot.  Thank you, HFPA.  Thank you very much.  Appreciate it. Thank you.


RICKY GERVAIS:  Oh, thank you.  Thank you.  Hello, and welcome to the 77th Annual Golden Globe Awards, live from the Beverly Hilton Hotel here in Los Angeles.  I'm Ricky Gervais.  Thank you.   


You'll be pleased to know this is the last time I'm hosting these awards.  So I don't care anymore.  I'm joking.  I never did.  NBC clearly don't care either.  Fifth time.  So, I mean, Kevin Hart was fired from the Oscars because of some offensive tweets.  Hello?  


Lucky for me the Hollywood Foreign Press can barely speak English, and they have no idea what Twitter is.  So I got offered this gig by fax.  So let's go out with a bang.  Let's have a laugh at your expense, shall we?  Remember, they're just jokes.  We're all going to die soon, and there's no sequel.  So yeah remember that.  But you all look lovely, all dolled up.  You came here in your limos.  I came here in a limo tonight, and the license plate was made by Felicity Huffman, so no.  Shush.  It's her daughter I feel sorry for; okay?  That must be the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to her, and her dad was in "Wild Hogs."  So lots of big celebrities here tonight.  I mean legends, icons.  At this table alone, Al Pacino, Robert De Niro   


baby Yoda.  Oh, that's Joe Pesci.  Sorry.  I love you, man.  Don't have me whacked.  But tonight isn't just about the people in front of the camera.  In this room are some of the most important TV and film executives in the world, people from every background, but they all have one thing in common.  They're all terrified of Ronan Farrow.  He's coming for you.  He's coming for you.  Look, talking of all you perverts, it was a big year for pedophile movies: "Surviving R. Kelly," "Leaving Neverland," "Two Popes."  Shut up.  Shut up.  I don't care.  I don't care.  

Many talented people of color were snubbed many major categories.  Unfortunately, there's nothing we can do about that.  The Hollywood Foreign Press are all very, very racist.  So. 


Fifth time.  So we were going to do an In Memorium this year, but when I saw the list of people that had died, it wasn't diverse enough.  They just no.  It was mostly white people.  And I thought no, not on my watch.  No.


Maybe next year.  Let's see what happens.  No one cares about movies anymore.  No one goes to the cinema.  No one really watches network TV.  Everyone is watching Netflix.  This show should just be me coming out you out, going, "Well done, Netflix.  You win everything.  Goodnight."  But no, no.  We've got to drag it out for three hours.  You could binge watch the entire first series of "After life" instead of watching this show.  That's a show about a man who wants to kill himself because his wife dies of cancer, and it's still more fun than this.


Okay.  Spoiler alert: Season 2 is on its way.  So in the end, he, obviously, didn't kill himself, just like Jeffrey Epstein.  Shut up.  I know he's your friend, but I don't care.  You like to make your own way in, your own plan, didn't you?  Right.  But seriously, most films are awful, lazy, remakes, sequels.  I've heard a rumor there might be a sequel to "Sophie's Choice."  I mean, that would just be Meryl Streep going, "Well, it's got to be this one, then."


All the best actors have jumped to Netflix and HBO, you know.  And the actors who just do Hollywood movies now do fantasy adventure nonsense.  They wear masks and capes and really tight consumes.  Their job isn't acting anymore.  It's going to the gym twice a day and taking steroids really.  Have we got an award for Most Ripped Junkie"?  No.  No point.  We know who'd win that.  Martin Scorsese, the greatest living director, made the news for his controversial comments about the Marvel franchise.  He said they're not real cinema and they remind him of theme parks.  I agree, although I don't know what he's doing hanging around theme parks.  He's not big enough to go on the rides really.  


He's tiny.  

"The Irishman" was amazing it was amazing.  It was.  It was great.  Long, but amazing.


It wasn't the only epic movie.  "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood," nearly three hours long.  Leonardo DiCaprio attended the premiere, and by the end, his date was too old for him.


Even Prince Andrews is, like, "Come on, Leo, mate.  You're nearly 50, son."  

The world got to see James Corden as a fat pussy.  


He was also in the movie "Cats."  No one saw that.  And the reviews, oh, shocking.  I saw one that said, "This is the worst thing to happen to cats since dogs."


But Dame Judi Dench defended the film, saying it was the role she was born to play because she...I can't do this next joke.


Because she loves nothing better than plunking herself down on the carpet, lifting her leg, and licking her (censored).  Fur ball.  Fur ball.  She's old school.  It's the last time.  Who cares?  


Apple rolled into the TV game with "The Morning Show," a superb drama, yeah.


A superb drama about the importance of dignity and doing the right thing, made by a company that runs sweet shops in China.  So well, you say you won't, but the companies you work for, I mean, unbelievable, Apple, Amazon, Disney.  If ISIS started a streaming service, you'd call your agent, wouldn't you?  So if you do win an award tonight, don't use it as a platform to make a political speech.  You're in no position to lecture the public about anything.  You know nothing about the real world.  Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg.  


So if you win, come up, accept your little award, thank your agent and your God and (censored).  So it's already really three hours long.  Let's do the first award.