"WEEKEND UPDATE" ANCHOR MICHAEL CHE – The CDC has recommended that the first people in the U.S. to receive COVID vaccines should be healthcare workers and residents of nursing homes. While the first people to actually receive it will be guests of Colin and Scarlett’s holiday yacht party.
CHE – You know, I got mixed feelings on this vaccine. On one hand, I’m Black, so naturally I don’t really trust it. But on the other hand, I’m on a white TV show, so I might actually get the real one.
"WEEKEND UPDATE" ANCHOR COLIN JOST – Former Presidents Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Bill Clinton have all volunteered to film themselves getting shots of the COVID vaccine. And to reach their target demos, Obama’s will air on MSNBC, Bush’s on Fox News, and Clinton’s on Brazzers.
CHE – It was reported that President Trump has been discussing the possibility of issuing a pre-emptive pardon for Jared Kushner. His price? One night with Kushner’s wife.
JOST – This week there was a full moon known as the “beaver moon.” Which can be seen about a month after a waxing moon.
CHE – Drake has released a line of scented candles that smell like him. And unfortunately, so has DJ Khaled.
CHE – Doctors in China removed more than 120 magnetic beads swallowed by a five-year-old boy. Wow, wait ‘til his boss at the factory hears about this.
JOST – Firefighters in Florida rescued a horse that fell into a septic tank and nearly was submerged in raw sewage. A horse submerged in raw sewage is also known as an Arby’s Beef ‘N Cheddar.
CHE – A 102-year-old woman from New York who survived the 1918 Spanish flu has now beat coronavirus twice. But sadly, she was no match for my car.
JOST – The world’s deepest swimming pool has opened in Poland. Even more amazing, it’s above ground.